Build a relationship that actually runs well
Skip the outdated premarital counseling and build a high-functioning relationship from the ground up — using systems, simulations, and science-backed frameworks designed for how modern couples actually live and break down.
"The couples who do this work aren't the ones who are struggling — they're the ones who are serious."— Leigh Baumann
What you'll learn
What you'll be able to do
- Map each other's real-time attachment and stress-response patterns so you're never blindsided by how the other shuts down or escalates under pressure
- Build a working conflict playbook — including fight protocols, timeout rules, and repair rituals — that replaces emotional chaos with rehearsed, predictable structure
- Design a shared Money Constitution that surfaces each partner's emotional relationship with money and sets binding decision rules before crises hit
- Stress-test your relationship through simulated high-stakes life events — job loss, burnout, relocation — so your responses are practiced, not improvised
- Create a Digital Life Agreement that establishes clear expectations around phones, social media, and attention so that distraction stops eroding connection
- Build a mutual Identity Map that keeps both partners growing as individuals without drifting apart — replacing 'becoming one' with 'growing in parallel'
How it works
A school that adapts to you
This isn't a set of static videos. Every lesson is generated live and tuned to where you actually are.
We learn your level
A quick placement check tailors your starting point so you're never bored or lost.
Lessons adapt as you go
Each lesson is written for your pace and your goal, adjusting as your skills grow.
Your AI coach keeps you moving
Checkpoints, feedback, and gentle nudges turn progress into a real result.
The curriculum
What's inside your school
6 modules · 14 lessons
Know Your Operating System
Before couples can build anything together, they need a precise, non-theoretical map of how each partner is actually wired — how they attach, how they break down under stress, and what conflict personality they bring into the relationship. This foundational module replaces vague self-awareness with actionable profiles that every subsequent module builds on.
- 1.1Attachment in Action — Not TheoryIncluded
- 1.2Mapping Your Repair PatternsIncluded
- 1.3Conflict Personality ArchetypesIncluded
Build the Conflict Playbook
With both partners' operating systems clearly mapped, this module converts that self-knowledge into durable structure. Rather than hoping good communication habits emerge organically, couples engineer explicit rules, protocols, and rituals that hold when emotions are highest. The output is a real, written Conflict Playbook both partners have tested and agreed to before marriage.
- 2.1Fight Protocols — Engineering the Rules of EngagementIncluded
- 2.2Timeout Architecture & Reconnection RitualsIncluded
Design Your Money Constitution
Money is rarely about money. This module starts with the emotional and identity-level beliefs each partner carries about finances — built from childhood, past scarcity or abundance, and what money represents psychologically — and uses that foundation to build a shared Money Constitution: a binding, explicit set of decision rules, thresholds, and protocols that governs your financial life together before any crisis forces the conversation.
- 3.1Money Identity — What Money Actually Means to YouIncluded
- 3.2Building the Shared Money ConstitutionIncluded
Digital Life & Attention by Design
The most underaddressed threat to modern marriages isn't communication — it's attention. This module treats your collective digital environment as something to be designed, not defaulted into. Couples audit how technology is already shaping their relationship, surface unspoken expectations and resentments around phones and social media, and produce a Digital Life Agreement that makes their attention choices explicit before those choices make them for you.
- 4.1The Attention Audit — Diagnosing Your Digital RelationshipIncluded
- 4.2Writing Your Digital Life AgreementIncluded
Stress-Test the Relationship
Every couple believes they'll handle hard things well together. Almost none have actually rehearsed it. This module borrows from military readiness and startup scenario planning to put couples through structured, pressure-tested simulations of the exact life events most likely to fracture unprepared marriages — so that when real crises arrive, the responses are practiced, not improvised. This module also serves as the full-system integration point for everything built in the course so far.
- 5.1Future Stress Simulation — Practicing Before the CrisisIncluded
- 5.2The Marriage Simulation Game — Full System IntegrationIncluded
Identity, Intimacy & the Long Game
The final module addresses the slow-burn threats that don't show up in year one but quietly dismantle marriages by year five to ten: identity drift, intimacy erosion, and poorly governed family systems. These are long-game design problems, and this module equips couples to build for who they're still becoming — not just who they are today. Sequenced last by design: these conversations require the self-knowledge and structural trust built in every preceding module.
- 6.1Intimacy & Desire — Building a System, Not Hoping for a FeelingIncluded
- 6.2Identity Drift Prevention — Growing in ParallelIncluded
- 6.3Family System Design & GovernanceIncluded
Who it's for
Is this you?
The recently engaged planner
Just got engaged and wants to build the right foundation before the wedding, not patch problems afterward.
The therapy-skeptic
Open to doing the work but allergic to vague feelings-talk — needs frameworks, outputs, and intellectual rigor to stay engaged.
The dual-career couple
Both partners are high-performers whose careers create real scheduling, stress, and identity pressures that generic advice ignores.
The conflict-avoider
Rarely fights but senses unresolved tension accumulating — wants a structured playbook before avoidance becomes distance.
The money-anxious partner
Knows that money is the most statistically dangerous topic in their relationship and wants to design around it before it detonates.
The long-game thinker
Less worried about the wedding and more focused on building a relationship architecture that holds up over decades of change.
Questions
Frequently asked
Your teacher
A note from your teacher
Leigh Baumann
Here's what I've noticed about high-achieving couples: they've built impressive things — careers, companies, creative work, financial plans — but they've never actually sat down and built the relationship itself. Not the feelings part. The architecture part. The rules, the protocols, the shared agreements that determine how two people function together when things get hard.
Most of what passes for premarital preparation doesn't meet these couples where they are. It's vague, facilitator-dependent, and optimized for self-reflection rather than output. You leave with insights but no infrastructure. You've talked about your childhoods but you haven't written a single rule for what happens when one of you shuts down in the middle of a fight at 11pm on a Tuesday.
That gap is what The Relationship OS is designed to close. Every module is built around a concrete deliverable — something you make together, not just discuss. You'll map your real-time attachment and stress patterns in Module 1 so you stop being blindsided by each other. You'll engineer an actual Conflict Playbook in Module 2 — timeout rules, re-entry protocols, repair rituals — so your fights have structure instead of just heat. You'll write a Money Constitution before the first financial crisis, and a Digital Life Agreement before resentment about phones quietly becomes something bigger. And in Module 5, you'll stress-test all of it against simulated crises so your responses are practiced, not improvised.
The final module takes the longest view: how to keep desire alive not by hoping for chemistry, but by building a system for it. How to prevent identity drift — not by becoming one person, but by designing for parallel growth. How to build a Family System with real governance so that major decisions have a process rather than a fight.
I built this curriculum because I believe the couples most capable of doing this work are often the ones least well-served by what currently exists. You're capable adults building something genuinely important. This course treats you that way — sharp frameworks, honest diagnostics, zero hand-holding, and a set of real outputs you'll actually use for years.
— Leigh Baumann
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- 6 modules, 14 lessons
- AI-adaptive lessons tuned to your level
- Quizzes & checkpoints to lock in progress
- Your own AI learning coach
- Learn on any device, at your pace
- Full access for as long as you're subscribed