It's not your fault. And you're going to be okay.
A warm, honest guide for kids aged 10–14 who are going through a family split — helping you name what you're feeling, get out of the middle, and find the calm that's already inside you.
Every feeling you're carrying right now makes complete sense — and I'll prove it to you, one honest lesson at a time.— Jill Lien Big Horn Wellness
What you'll learn
What you'll be able to do
- Understand clearly and confidently that a parent's split is never their fault, and let go of the urge to fix or prevent it.
- Name the full range of feelings a family break-up brings — anger, sadness, guilt, worry, loneliness, even relief — and know that every single one is normal.
- Recognise when they are being pulled into adult conflict (parentification, message-carrying, taking sides) and use simple, kind phrases to step out of the middle.
- Use at least four personal calm-down tools — breathing, grounding, movement, and journalling — to steady themselves when feelings surge.
- Identify at least two trusted adults they can turn to, and know exactly when and how to ask for extra help, including crisis support (such as calling or texting 988).
- Feel genuinely less alone — understanding that their brain and body are making big feelings feel even bigger right now, and that things can and do get better.
How it works
A school that adapts to you
This isn't a set of static videos. Every lesson is generated live and tuned to where you actually are.
We learn your level
A quick placement check tailors your starting point so you're never bored or lost.
Lessons adapt as you go
Each lesson is written for your pace and your goal, adjusting as your skills grow.
Your AI coach keeps you moving
Checkpoints, feedback, and gentle nudges turn progress into a real result.
The curriculum
What's inside your school
6 modules · 23 lessons
It's Not Your Fault — Full Stop
Establishes the single most important truth: the split is a grown-up decision about grown-ups, never caused or fixable by you.
- 1.1This Is About Them, Not YouIncluded
- 1.2You Can't Fix It — and That's OkayIncluded
- 1.3Meet Our Guide: One Girl's StoryIncluded
The Feelings Storm
Names every big, tangled emotion a family break-up can bring — anger, sadness, guilt, worry, loneliness, even relief — and shows that all of them are completely normal.
- 2.1All the Feelings Have a NameIncluded
- 2.2Even Relief Is OkayIncluded
- 2.3Why It Feels SO Big Right NowIncluded
- 2.4Feelings Aren't ForeverIncluded
Caught in the Middle
Helps you recognise when adult conflict is landing on your shoulders — and gives you simple, kind ways to step out of the middle without hurting anyone.
- 3.1It's Not Your Job to Take SidesIncluded
- 3.2What to Say When You're Stuck in the MiddleIncluded
- 3.3When Everyone Has an OpinionIncluded
- 3.4When a Parent Isn't Really ThereIncluded
What I Can and Can't Control
Gives you a calming, practical framework to let go of what isn't yours to carry and put your energy into what you actually can do.
- 4.1The Two Circles: Mine and Not MineIncluded
- 4.2Letting Go Without Giving UpIncluded
- 4.3Small Anchors: Routines That Hold You SteadyIncluded
My Calm-Down Toolkit
Builds a personal set of at least four practical, evidence-backed coping tools you can reach for whenever feelings surge.
- 5.1Naming It to Tame ItIncluded
- 5.2Breathing and Grounding: Back to Right NowIncluded
- 5.3Move It OutIncluded
- 5.4Journalling and Creative ReleaseIncluded
- 5.5Building Your Toolkit: Your Personal PlanIncluded
Who's in My Corner — and a Word for Grown-Ups
Helps you build a real support team, know exactly when and how to ask for help, and includes a warm, direct section for the adults who love you.
- 6.1Building Your Support TeamIncluded
- 6.2How to Ask for Help (Even When It Feels Hard)Included
- 6.3When to Ask for Extra Help — and HowIncluded
- 6.4For the Grown-Ups Who Love You: A Note for AdultsIncluded
Who it's for
Is this you?
The kid in the middle
You're being asked to pass messages, pick sides, or be the grown-up — and this course gives you kind, simple words to step out of that role.
The one holding it all in
You look fine on the outside but feel like a storm inside — here you'll finally name what's going on and build tools to steady yourself.
The angry one
The anger is real and it makes total sense — this course helps you understand where it's coming from and what to do with it so it doesn't run your life.
The worried parent or carer
You can see your child struggling and you want to say the right things — the adult notes woven throughout give you practical, honest guidance.
The school counsellor
You support young people through family upheaval every week — this course gives you a structured, jargon-free companion resource to recommend or work through together.
The young teen feeling relieved (and guilty about it)
If part of you feels relieved the tension is ending but you're ashamed of that feeling, this course looks you in the eye and says: that's okay too.
Questions
Frequently asked
Your teacher
A note from your teacher
Jill Lien Big Horn Wellness
If you're here, something big is happening in your family. And if you're a grown-up reading this on behalf of a young person you love — something big is happening to someone you care about deeply, and you want to get it right.
I built this course because I know what it feels like to be 10, or 12, or 14 and have your home life shift underneath you while the rest of the world just keeps going. School still expects you to show up. Friends still want you to be normal. And nobody seems to have a handbook for what you're supposed to do with the storm going on inside you.
That's exactly what When Your Parents Split is. It's the handbook. Written plainly. Without talking down to you. Starting with the one thing every young person in this situation needs to hear first — that it is not, in any way, their fault — and then building from there. We name the feelings (all of them, including the ones that feel embarrassing or confusing). We look at what's yours to carry and what absolutely isn't. We practise real tools that real people use when they feel overwhelmed. And we figure out together who you can lean on, and how.
I want to be honest with you about what this course is and isn't. It's not therapy. It's not a substitute for a trusted adult in your life. What it is, is a warm, steady companion for a hard season — the kind of calm, clear voice I wish someone had offered when I needed it most. Every lesson is short enough to feel manageable. Every idea is practical enough to use today.
For the parents, carers, and counsellors here: there's a section throughout this course written directly to you. You'll find language you can use, things to watch for, and gentle guidance on how to keep being a safe harbour for the young person in your life — even when you're also navigating your own hard feelings about all of this.
You are not alone in this. None of you are. And things genuinely can get better. I'd love for this course to be a small, steady part of how they do.
— Jill Lien Big Horn Wellness
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- 6 modules, 23 lessons
- AI-adaptive lessons tuned to your level
- Quizzes & checkpoints to lock in progress
- Your own AI learning coach
- Learn on any device, at your pace
- Full access for as long as you're subscribed